Thesis: The fairytale “Cinderella” inaccurately depicts stepfamily dynamics as dysfunctional which is misleading to younger readers of fairy tales. In reality, orphaned children and stepmothers take time to adapt to one another, but with proper support they can develop a nurturing and loving relationship.

Based on first draft: 

Paragraph 1 (Introduction)- Introduces to the reader that stepfamilies should be normalized in society. The reader may have trouble following the order of my ideas here because I mentioned that I was going to talk about children who are orphaned at a young age at the end of my paragraph as supporting details, instead of the beginning. This paragraph could relate more to my claim if I change the order of citing my source by choosing to include direct evidence in the third or fourth sentence of my essay instead of the beginning as well. 

Paragraph 2– Introduces the reader to the idea that stepfamilies can be mended with time and emphasizes the possible solutions to prevent a toxic relationship as a family. This paragraph ties back well to my main idea but I feel it’s too broad and could be strengthened with direct evidence from my other sources as well as my interpretation of the text. This is how I realized that this paragraph has the issue where it repeats an idea which ruins its significance and I should also change the order of where this paragraph goes.

Paragraph 3– The opposing argument that talks about how Cinderella is stereotype by psychologists with the phenom called “Cinderella effect.” This paragraph confuses the reader because they get torn between my argument and the other side since the evidence isn’t strong enough to contradict which makes me lose credibility. I also feel that to prove the point of the weak opposing side I could use some context from a fairytale that is brief and unreliable to my claim, while dedicating most of the paragraph as to why my side is better. 

Paragraph 4– My personal argument that stepmothers and stepchildren are affected by the lack of initial support when the blended family is formed and how it leads to miscommunication. This paragraph seems to juggle two topics at once and I feel they would be more impactful if I separated them into two different paragraphs. Since, at this point the reader may have trouble following the order of my ideas as this paragraph does not transition smoothly like the other ones do, so I could make this my second paragraph instead.

Paragraph 5– Provide general context on the fairytale I will be discussing which is Cinderella and how it relates to today’s society. In this paragraph I will establish my intended audience and discuss the purpose of your essay to tie it smoothly with my thesis statement. This paragraph may be tricky where there is a possibility that I repeat an idea from my body paragraphs briefly and it will need to be revised to avoid it from popping up again in a later paragraph. 

Paragraph 6 (Conclusion)– Ties all the points of my essay which mainly refers to the body paragraphs into one sentence. I described how my topic is generally controversial but has more supporting evidence towards stepfamily dynamics being generic and showing rare cases of violence. The reader at this paragraph may feel that I am addressing new ideas that I haven’t addressed at all since it’s a concluding paragraph and I felt the need to expand on one last topic to summarize the points in my essay.